Thankyou :0)

Awww, how lovely you all are, you don't know how MUCH it means to me to see you are all thinking about lil me and trying to help me stay positive. i do still feel quite positive but then i'll sudenly have an OMG moment, and cos of bloomin eastenders (which i dont wathch) every newspaper and magazine i pick up seems to have articles about families with Downs children, and then i start thinking maybe someone somewhere is trying to give me a subtle sign??
i'm still hangin on in there for my scan on the 19th, i just cant imagine how i will be feeling by then, BUT my mum phoned yesterday and said she had been talking to someone (gee thanks mum) who had the same thing happen with bloods and they had the scan but went private at addenbrookes so they didnt have to wait as long, and she will pay if we want to go there NOW i promise i'm not being ungrateful but i dont know what to think, i dont think its a matter of nhs waiting lists why i'm waiting for the scan, i was led to believe that you have to wait til around 19/20 weeks as any markers that will be present might not show up before that time, and also does that mean i get a better scan person (brain blank can't think of the word!) i'm not sure thats the case. argh i'm confused what would you do?? i think mum was abit miffed i didnt jump at the chance.



so thats where we are at, will do a post very soon with pics i promise, i've had enough of this serious stuff!

yesterday

firstly thanks clare ess and michellel (wow hi michelle havnt seen you around in aaaages!) its sooo nice to know people think/worry about me sometimes :0)

ok heres what happened yesterday, we saw the consultant who said the same as you clare :0) and many other positive things, like not backing horses with those odds etc but it still boils down to one thing someone is gonna be the '1' in those figures our options are to do nothing and have faith in the odds, have a detailed scan where they look for soft markers or have an amnio, rightly or wrongly we have gone for the scan to start with if just 1 marker shows thats enough to convince me to go for amnio, i have to wait til i'm further on though so my 20 week anomaly scan had been bought forwards to the 19th oct and they will combine the 2 i always hate the 20 week scan now i'm gonna be terrified! so thats where we are, i keep swinging from of course i'm gonna be fine people have been fine with a lot worse odds than me to omg i just know its me and i'm the 1.

oh bugger ;0(

i'm sat here now, after just getting of the phone to my m/w, my triple test has come back as high risk :0( i just KNEW it was going to i had them done on tues and i've had a bad feeling about them the whole time, i even said to my friend i bet they wont phone til sunday night cos they wont want to ruin my weekend and there is nothing that can be done til monday. the risk is 1/131 now i know thats not too awful in the scheme of bad results, but its bad enough to warrent an antenatal appointment tomorrow at 8.30 am with a possible amnnio the same day, aggghhhhh, graham isnt even here, hes in a field playing cricket and now i've got to sort something out for the kids getting to school and moll looked after, i have no idea what we are going to do, i dont want an amnio, but i dont want a downs baby either (there i've come out and said it now) fingers crossed for tomorrow pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

sorry for a moaning blog post :0(

Bump!

Thought it was about time i showed whats been going on with my belly! i think it looks quite high?? i already feel the size of a house so god knows what i'll look like in feb/march!



hope you can see that in the time honoured tradition i did tie my top up lol! promise to do a more traditional phil shot next time!

other news is jess has been going to school! just mornings til tuesday but then she is all day, i have the delights of a school dinner to try with her on mon (actually i cant wait, they always look quite yum!)

heres a pic of jess in usual day time attire (we always dress for dinner here as you will see lol! )



and here she is in her daytime attire for thext 11 or so years!


she absoloutly loves it, and she already has made several 'best friends' lol girls are sooo fickle arn't they!

listen!!

thought i would have a go at sharing my fave sound in the world right now!, not sure why its come out soooooooooo dark, but i had to hold camera lcose to doppler incase it didnt pick it up! dunno about you lot but me thinks it sounds train like so that means boy!

Edit video online at onetruemedia.com