Biker Boy!

Just a quicky(oo-er) my no1 son finally achieved the impossable today and rode his bike without stableisers! he has always protested when we said it was time to take them off but enough is enough and last night graham removed them! the pics speak for themselves!







YEAH!!!!!!!!!! he did it! so proud of him, theres no stopping him now :0)

Jess was meant to be doing it as well but she tried for 2 mins before demanding her stabelisers to be put on, its not like her to admit defeat so it must have been very hard for her, i'll wait for her to tell me when shes ready, i'm sure it wont be long, she HATES to be outdone by Nathan!

public molly!

ok i'll explain the title, i've decided there are 2 moll's the public one who everyone else gets to see and the at home one who just us howlands get to see behind closed doors, look at these pics and you decide!



the public one the one we get!

can you spot the differance lol! if only every one could see the lil darling like this instead of the angel child i wheel around at school everyday and every saying how lovely she is, think they would eat their words if they could see her sometimes!!

oh and to finish heres a pic of my clean older kids on the beach in their pants, cos if you can't wear your pants on the beach at this age then when the heck can you!

caught!

haha caught moll getting her baps out for little bill (cute lil boy on telly for those that don't know!)

decisions!

Thanks gals for all your collected sighs of relief, i felt them here and you blew my washing dry lol! well right now all is well still, i have finally produced a positive test for graham so he could see the line(yet again it was as positive as could be, soooooo blue and thick) and now i have to think about what i want to do in terms of an early scan, ever since the very first mmc i have had a scan at 8 weeks thats with good and bad pregnancys, but to be honest the stress we go through before that is just unbearable, i always sit there asking myself why on earth i've made the scan appointment when i could be happily in a little bubble thinking all is well with bubba for another few weeks, i'm literally terrified of going and waiting for them to say if there is a h/b or the dreaded statement are you sure of your dates? soooo this time i am really thinking about just waiting for a regular scan at 12/14 weeks, i do have a back up plan though to go with this decision! i would still go mad wondering if there was a h/b so i am thinking about hiring a doppler, i did last time with moll cos i got the wobbles with moll between my 8 and 10 week scan and i needed to know she was still there, this way is a perfect way of calming me down and if i can't get a h/b before the scan then at least it wouldnt be a total shock and i would be prepared for them not to find anything.

ok heres some other details of miracle bean!
i think its due around the 7 march so another march baby for me then as nathan is at the end of march
i really don't know how it was concieved! well obviously i know but it shouldn't have happened, heres the gory details! day 4 & 5 of a 29 day cycle no methods of contraception
days 5 -9 withdrawal (sp?!)
days 9-19 condoms (albeit ebay ones lol!)
days 20 + withdrawal and then last couple of days no methods
dont think we actually have sex on every single one of those days mind! god even I would not manage that! so there you go either a pull out day was the culprit or its a dodgy ebay condom! its soooo strange though cos i used to try every month on all possible fertile days and didnt manage to concieve for 14 months and then i lost it, it took 3 years and 3 m/c before i finally fell with nathan, i have definately got more fertile as i have got older!

All is well :0)

Awww thank you so very much girlies for being so lovely to me, you all made me blub! i am very releaved to say that after a week of silence and one word chats and grunts, yesterday we had a heart to heart and we have BOTH decided we are going to keep the baby and it is loved and wanted. i voiced my concerns (after graham agreed that i would not be getting rid of it) that if all was well and i do manage to carry a healthy baby til march he would hate it and treat it differantly to the others, he gave me a big hug (sometimes i do like them!) and said he would never feel like that about any of our children. so phew, happy smiles of relief all round! now i can get back to worrying about scans and heartbeats and normal stuff again. i have told one pal and she knows whats been going on this week and i will also tell one other pal cos i don't mind untelling them if things don't work out, otherwise noone will know for quite a few more weeks, well apart from you lot and i don't mind untelling you either!

normal blog activity will be resumed as of now!

mor news!

Well firstly thanks for all the congrats its lovely to read when folk are happy for you! the thing is you were all soooo wrong about Graham! this will be long so be warned! ok after testing on monday i thought i would gently broach the subject with him so i just said i think i'm gonna have to test tomorrow, he went mad! saying well you'd better not be cos your going straight to the doctors to take something if you are. GULP! i'm not telling after that, we didn't speak really til wed, and i again said i still havn't come on, same response, we are not having anymore kids 3 is enough you'll have to get rid of it, i said if i am i'll get a job to help and he said its not about the money i just don't want anymore kids. so there we go i still havn't told him i'm to scared to i WILL NOT get rid of it that is something i am certain of but i just dont know what to do. i feel like its happening to someone else and i am really distanced from it, normally we are both worried about scans and heartbeats at this stage but right now i feel nothing, all i'm worrying about is what he will do when he knows its definate. so thats my news, not great really is it?!

news!

Ok sorry for taking sooo long to post today (i HATE folk that do that lol!) well after an uneventful morning i finally got hold of a test this afternoon and sat looking at it for aaaages before finally unwrapping it and doing my stuff on it. well i wont leave you in suspense any longer! it came up with the darkest most positive line i have ever seen in my life, like someone had drawn on it in thick blue marker pen lol!. so thats that i am with child!! i am very scared given my previous history 3 mmc and 1 mc, that is why i've always been against having more kids, why tempt fate again quit while i can, but thats changed now and all i can do is hope for the best what will be will be blah blah blah! i havn't dared tell graham yet, think i might do it tomorrow or the next day....... i promise it will be soon! sooo it looks like my blog will look drastically differant to how i imagined it to be instead of witty lighthearted family stuff it's now going to be full of my worries and woes for the next few weeks(i apologise in advance!) ok off to wrap myself in cotton wool for a while!

sunny days and a small worry!

evening! well firstly i'm glad i wasn't the only one to giggle of naughty words in a dictionary, i wasnt bright enough to think about the foreign ones though! we have had a lovely couple of days pottering around the garden and getting out the new padding pool. i heres a pic of the girls in it yesterday, i think they are wondering if i had forgotton something vital like the water lol!















they all got in it after school (i had put water in by then!)
fun was had by all, and the child that is shining out in a golden glow of sunshine was a little she devil when it was time to get out!

today we got our new car yippee! here it is standing proudly outside our house(grahams monstrous van gets pride of place in the drive!) also please note poor discarded silver peugot carelessly parked over the road, thats our old car, and from tomorrow it will be for sale in the pub carpark!

ok then on to my small worry, gulp! i think there's a chance i am with child (love that expression!) i'm sooooo scared, i should have come on on tues/wed but instead of that happening i had my sign that i have ALWAYS had(in good and bad preggies) a constant feeling of coming on but only light brown spotting yesterday and today nothing, this is what has happened every time, i got such a shock when i realised the cramps had produced nothing, i thought i was off and away so to speak! so now i'm worried, maybe its cos i've been on a plane and its mucked my cycle up??!! or maybe now i've written it down i'll come on!. anyway i'm going to sit tight for the next couple of days and refuse to worry (too much) unless i have to. i'm too scared to test just incase............... will keep you updated! fingers crossed i have been worrying about nothing!